Cuthbert is still in a dark place: The Guide To Everything
136 Jobs/Finance/Pawn Brokers
September 15th, 2010The Chinese invented pawn broking over 3,000 years ago. A person comes to the shop and puts down an item of worth as collateral and is given… oh Lordy, dreadfully dull. Essentially tat is exchanged for money.
In these recessionary times pawn brokers are busy. Soon all the pawn brokers will become insolvent. No one is buying the second hand junk from the broker because everyone is selling their dross; society moves so fast that it takes about 2 months for a brand new Apple iPad to become a Sinclair ZX81.
And this is good. Wealth is all relative and equilibrium will be reached; a redistribution of wealth. The broker will go bust and have to fore go a champagne supper or two as the local poor people fleece them to buy fags and Chlamydia. As the broker is hard working and intelligent he will be dynamic and reinvent himself as a tobacconist or by opening a STD clinic. And the whole sordid cycle is extended
This process sadly encapsulates every single economic theory and principle ever invented, ever, in the name of progress, ever, to get a tawdry prize of nothingness, ever, a sham, a pox ridden indictment on global society, ever and always. Dross for dross. A waste of time, Ever. Go away ghost of Hancock, leave me be!
The most common things pawned are musical instruments, jewellery and bits of Vanessa Feltz. The most unusual item ever pawned was Stephen Hawking’s battery.
“We are all pawns in a gigantic game of universe chess, played by an infinity of belligerent omnipotent gods, and it may not even be chess but a monstrous infernal version of Trivial Pursuit.” Cuthbert Breeze to Leet Fabric.
“Here ya go mate, box set of Norman Wisdom. Time to come away from that dark place.” Leet Fabric to Cuthbert Breeze
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