Cult Comedy

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129 People/Superstitions/The Tooth Fairy

September 6th, 2010 | by admin |

The tooth fairy is the only remaining survivor of the once popular Child Body-Part Exchange Scheme popular in the 12

^th

and 13^th century. During these hard times assorted characters from the underworld would come and collect precious fresh body parts in the evening to sell in their own domain to the masses of under-resourced sorcerers and alchemists. In return they would leave goods of their own for the parents of the harvested child. The tooth fairy appreciated cold hard currency and would leave a penny for a good molar but exchange rates would be determined by the size of quality of the body part.  The finger-nail troll for instance would leave anything he found on the way, the eye-lash imp and dandruff pixie tended to leave almost worthless pieces of rock whereas the feared knuckle goblin and sternum ogre could leave anything from good quality building materials up to a young stallion. In 1294 local tax-collector William Frail introduced a 10% tax on all transactions which caused chaos to the exchange programme. Suddenly ear-drum sprites were having to cut costs and mass redundancies caused a huge downturn in business for the scrotum gremlins. Although cries of foul play echoed around the caverns of underworld bazaar when Frail was seen to be walking around flashing a brand new set of gnashers, no criminal involvement was ever proved and The Tooth Fairy plc was the only organisation which survived the recession successfully.

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle was famously fooled by the Cottingley Fairies. Any expert worth his salt would know these were Scrotum Gremlins.